Memories Linger
by The Narrator
Summary: (New Chapter: Starlight Lingers, Sakuya's Prayer) The memory of a moonless night, starlight on sakura, and a farewell. More importantly, a fan-fic challenge! Read to discover the details!
1. Memories Linger

Narrator here! This is going to be just a short, (hopefully) contemplative one-shot, but read the notes to get the details of the fic challenge!

**Disclaimer**: Narrator does not own _Samurai Deeper Kyo_. Hence the fact that she posts her stuff on a _fanfiction_ website.

**_Memories Linger..._**

* * *

_On this former battlefield, Chaos reigned, but now… all is quiet._

The reek of Death clings to me, but never have I felt more alive. Life and Death, Death and Life… at times, the degree that separates them seems almost invisible, even to one such as I. Perhaps I am becoming too familiar.

The blood that doesn't belong to me drips from my body and my blade. I lift my face to the sky, standing alone beneath the heavens. Alone, because no one else is alive, and that doesn't count, does it?

_I smile because I'm being too clever._

Am I the monster they named me, or do I create that name out my love of Death (Power, Blood, Life)? Was there ever a time I breathed (laughed, wept, lived) when I did not hold in my hand a tool of Death, my blade, and cut others free of the mortal threads that bind them to this world (Hell, Heaven, Purgatory)?

Somewhere beyond (above) the stench of blood, I can smell the coming of a storm. The rain will wash over this field, cleansing it of Death and bestowing on it the illusion of Life that has not been disrupted.

_Rain always follows a battle – I wonder why_.

What defines "monster"? They say I am cruel (perhaps, but who deserves my kindness?). I am bloodthirsty (again, perhaps, but who can deny the intoxication?). I am inhuman, not a man, a creature, a thing (but that begs the question, what is "man"?). The degree of separation between them is…

My life (existence) had been one of constant battle – to meet a challenge, to feel the surge of battle rage, swept up in the single blinding space where my Life and my Death hang in the balance. Ah, that is the sweetest ecstasy (oblivion, dream, sin).

_Ha, I guess I am a monster._

Does it matter at all what they think? I am above it, a being of Death, and I find myself there amidst Chaos.

But has there ever been a time before, a time of peace (serenity)? Has it always been this way? I close my eyes in this space of silence and try to remember…

_But memories linger like the perfume of blood, before they fade away._

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**Author's Notes:** Yes, I'm aware that that was very short, but that's the point of this challenge. I'm throwing down the gauntlet for all you SDK fanficcers out there! The rules are as follows: 

1. Your fic must be no longer than 1000 words

2. It must be written in 30 minutes or less.

3. It should be in first-person format

4. Finally, it must include the sentence "_Memories linger like_ (insert simile of choice), _before they fade away_."

The inspiration for this challenge comes from a letter from my aunt about James Joyce and stream-of-consciousness style of writing (I _hate_ Joyce, by the way, for his talking about Ireland the way he did!), and drinking coffee in a very boring Legislative Procedure lecture. :P Okay, ya'll – go to!

Salute!


	2. Starlight Lingers

**Disclaimer:** Must I define _fanfiction?_ **Samurai Deeper Kyo** is not mine!

**_Starlight Lingers_**

_Sakuya's Prayer_

* * *

I gaze up at the stars, because their flickering light is the only connection I have left to you, my love. They are brighter tonight, closer than they have been in a long time, because there is no moon to outshine their fragile radiance. It reminds me of that other moonless night, when the starlight frosted the sakura petals…

_Sayonara…_

If you hate me, I will not blame you. I deserve all of your hate and none of your love - where can love exist, once it has been betrayed and cast aside? And betray you I did, turning my back on you and walking away, leaving you in the darkness. You might have believed I was angry with you. That can be no further from the truth. I smiled as I bid you farewell forever, but I only cried when you could not longer see. That is the truth, my love.

_Sayonara…_

Truth. So simple a word, and yet who can define it beyond all shadow of doubt? In truth, my love, I was afraid. I was afraid of what you had become, because now I was torn, and I did not know how to reach for you as I once did. I did not know how deeply you had hated yourself, and how much you only wanted to be free. And I was afraid, because I thought (knew) I was not strong enough to help you, too weak to break the chains that had settled around your very soul. You were in pain, and for all of my supposed, vaunted power, I did not have the strength to heal you.

_Sayonara…_

And so here I sit, looking up at the moonless sky, watching your star, helpless once more. I can only watch. I can only wait. I can only pray that one day you will find what you seek, and then… and what then? Do I hope against hope that some day we will be able to move past that moment, to forget that it ever happened? Will we be able to embrace the desperate, fleeting happiness we shared, only to have it wither and fade away? The past is dead, my love, and neither you nor I can reclaim it, no matter how vigilantly I watch, no matter how long I wait, no matter the number of prayers I whisper with tears burning tracks down my cheeks.

_Sayonara…_

My one, single word was my one, single betrayal, and yet it was enough to destroy everything we had, or could have had. I am sorry, I am sorry, and yet I know you can never forgive me, for I can never forgive myself. I offer my prayers, my hopes, my insignificant powers for you, my love, that someday, you will find your happiness.

_Sayonara…_

_Memories linger like starlight on sakura, before they fade away._

* * *

Narrator here. I have been impressed with the quality of responses to my challenge so far - my hat's off to **nekozuki1776, luna-magic-2005, **and **foxmagic**for their fics. Read them if you haven't already.

As for this fic... erm, I've never tried to write from Sakuya's point of view, mainly because her character was so flat (by comparison) in the anime, and she hasn't been in the manga nearly enough for me to get a feel for her character. She seems interesting enough, so I hope there's so real chracter development on her part further down the road!

Salute!


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